Dear Jana,

 Chance

I remember our first time that we met by chance 10 years ago. A month before your 28th B-Day. This was at a time when I was unsure of myself and many people were unsure of my motives. We heard negative opinions from both families. I remember joking around that I would go to your B-Day dinner with you  because you did not want to go without me. 

Regardless of what anyone said or did we continued on staying together through the good, bad, thick and thin, until death do us part. Slowly but surely you eased me into Sunday dinners, B-days for the girls, and weekend trips with your family. By then I believe everyone could see how happy we were with one another and that we were going to be a couple. We always tried our best to Choose The Right "Daija's CTR  ring" and somehow we hit a bump in the road.

By that time we were there for one another and we had much help along the way. There are too many people to name individually but we know and they know who I am talking about. As they are still helping me and our now 7-year Big Girl now. We both had the dreams to do for ourselves without any help. Even got to the point where we began helping others and taking are own family trips.

I am not sure what life would of brought us if you were still with me today "physically". However, I do know that I wold not be where I am today if we had never met by chance on that first day. You are my support someone that I could lean on. What circumstance that I put myself in you were there for me and still saw the good or potential that I had. There is still a long road to go before I get to where I want to in life. Most mornings when I wake up we continue to cover more ground moving forward on the right path for a change.

That is what keeps me going and what kept us going. Because when everything looked so bad somehow everything just fell into place. I may not ever understand why God took you so early, but I know that he has great plans for me and the girls. Although we split apart as family like we once had. We are all making progress towards better things and most importantly life. We all share your memories and the smartest seven year old that I know which keeps us together. 

The best part about it all is that I can be myself without telling lies or parts of the story. Through my writing and truthful personal experiences I hope to help others as you helped me. I am not asking for help as often as should sometimes because like we always said, "it just feels better to know that we did it." Besides hat everyone has their own personal problems and everyone has to grow up sometimes. 

Plus we have a little girl out that needs me as much as I need her. It reassuring knowing that she is in good hands while recovering from my bumps in the road and bad choices. This time it is a truly different experience. I am not pretending just to make myself look good in someone's eye. The only two people that i am concern about me and my life right is myself and Maleia. Everything else will fall into place as is has and continues to do so. Other people have notice the change in me when I was just being myself. So I can go to bed feeling good about self no matter what happened that day.

Now I am starting to ramble. So I will end this letter by saying thank you for everything that you have done and continue to do. But I am good now I just want you to start enjoying yourself put you first for a change. I promise that I will not forget about you and others will know what a great genuine person that you were. M next step is a great one and I have to do it on my own. I need to put the past behind me and start enjoying life again. Like I know we would if you were still with me on earth. I also promise when we do meet again I will have made a difference in someone's life like you have made in mine. Just think in two more years you would have been 40, so that makes me about 26 :). Happy Belated B-Day. I hope this letter reaches you in good spirits as I start my day trying to become the man, husband, and daddy that you saw in me when myself or others could not. I Love and Miss You Always and Forever.

P.S. I AM ON MY TO GRADUATING COLLEGE NEXT YEAR. THAT IS A BLESSING IN AND OF ITSELF